Let Me Explain. No, There is too Much. Let Me Sum Up.

IMG_81985:30 AM piano fundraiser.IMG_8203

Cleaning out the school shelf after fourth grade.


Changing my eating habits. I got nothing but FAT following the “Nourishing Traditions” book. I changed to a whole-food plant based diet almost four months ago and lost 24 pounds! It feels awesome.


Pintail turned eleven!!


Teal spent a week at Girls’ Camp. I got to go up as a leader for two days. So fun!


Wigeon enjoying the neighborhood pool.


Summer Solstice fire jumping.


Lagoon with cousin Max.


I planted climbing roses on the porch and they actually bloomed!


Baseball! That’s how we spent the first half of summer. Pintail is the fourth from the left.


Wigeon and daddy kayaking at the lake.


Teal doing the SUP board.


A presentation on the Civil War by a neighbor/enthusiast for our Young Men/Young Women activity.


Playing with cousins in Granny and Grampy’s creek.


Cousin races on the Fourth of July.


Doing the zipline with family at Sundance Mountain Resort.


Hiking to Stewart Falls at Sundance.


A sink full of yummy home-grown greens.

And the change I have been least wanting to put into writing; Teal will be attending public school this fall for eighth grade. My plan all along had been to homeschool the “grades” (Waldorf 1-8) and then see what Teal wanted to do for the high-school years; homeschool, dual enrollment (part home/part public school) at the High School, early college classes? I thought it would be a good transition in eighth-grade to let her take one or two electives at the Jr. High and then come home for academic subjects, but as she looked over the Jr. High class list her eyes welled up with tears and she said she just wanted to go to Jr. High full-time. I could have said no. I kind of wish I had said no. But, I felt a distinct impression to let this be an opportunity to help her learn how to make decisions in a faith-based way. We talked about making a decision and approaching Heavenly Father through prayer to receive either a confirmation of the decision or an impression to do something else. I won’t lie, I knew she would choose to go to Jr. High, but I helped her through the process. The next evening she was very shy about telling her dad and me her decision because she didn’t want me to cry. I didn’t cry then, but that night when I laid down with Wigeon the tears started flowing. Wigeon said, “There are tears leaking from your eyes.” I said it was because I was sad Teal was going to school, and Wigeon said she was sad, too.

It has taken me all summer to adjust to this change. And though I have only been supportive of Teal’s decision, I do feel a loss. There just wasn’t any closure for me. I won’t get to do eighth grade. I have to cram reading Kovacs’ The Age of Revolutions over the summer, so when she takes US History with a stranger this fall, she will know what led to the formation of this lovely country. I was helped one day while reading the Christopherus Homeschool Curriculum Overview for eighth grade. Donna Simmons titled the Section “Eight Grade – Taking Responsibility.” She goes right on to say, “If you haven’t already begun to treat your child as a partner in terms of his education, then now is the time…It is important that your child be able to take responsibility for his choices and that he be increasingly aware of how his decisions affect and shape his life.” I’m sure she probably didn’t mean public school in eighth grade, though it’s mentioned for ninth, but it was something that made me feel better.

I can’t help but wonder if I had never had her in public school (K-middle of grade 2) would she have wanted to go back? Does everyone’s teen want to go public school and they just say no? Should I have fought harder for just one more year? I’m sure it’s different for every family, and I recognize that part of the sadness I’m experiencing is that I feel like I’m losing some of MY identity.

So, there you have it; the summation. You can thank me for leaving out the back and forth between my husband and me regarding the whole thing. 😉

Thanks for coming back to visit me here after my five month hiatus. Now that I’ve gotten this out. I hope to be back more frequently.




12 thoughts on “Let Me Explain. No, There is too Much. Let Me Sum Up.

  1. Sheila / Sure as the World

    Hey sweet Rachel,
    This post feels so tender and a bit raw as well. So much to say, but really nothing to say. Just know that I am holding you in my heart as your journey continues.
    Sending you love and light.
    Today and always.

    1. Mrs. Mallard Post author

      Thank you Sheila! I appreciate your comment and your kindness. Writing about change is hard, but you know that! I can’t wait for your family trip out west. I hope you guys have a terrific time!


  2. Lisa

    Yay! So glad to hear from you; I’ve been hoping you’d blog again.

    I am with you on the child going back to jr. high, as you know. I’ve had lots of time this past year to adjust to the idea, so I’m at peace with it… I’m sure you will get to that point. I’m kind of glad to not be the only one in this situation, as it can feel lonely. Feel free to email me any time. Much love to you!

  3. Kim

    Well hello there, and welcome back. I have missed you. Beautiful photos of all the goodness you guys have been up to this summer. It looks like you have been enjoying the summer.

    As for Junior high…yikes! I so understand where you are coming from, even though I have years before I reached this stage. I often get asked what I will do if my little man decides he wants to go to school at some point, and my response is exactly what you have done. We would talk about it, think about it, and if he is old enough, let him make that decision. And then of course support him the best we can. I can imagine how difficult this is for you, the letting go can’t be easy. Keep breathing mama.

    Sending love and hugs. xo

    1. Mrs. Mallard Post author

      Thank you Kim! It has been a good summer overall. I can only hope that we’ve handled this decision to the best of our abilities as I know that almost-fourteen is still a child.

      Your summer camp looks darling, by the way, and Reece has grown up so much!


  4. licoricelovinglady

    Nice to see you here again, Rachel. I have been thinking about you guys and glad you’re doing well.
    You know, I think it just depends on the individual child. I’ve known some home educated children ask every year to go to school and others who would rather stick pins in their eyes. My ds spent 2 years in Waldorf kindergarten and that has put him off school for life 🙂 (but maybe that will change when we get to the teen years, who knows?). It must be so hard to let go. I’m sure Teal will appreciate the faith and trust in her that you are showing in allowing her to go. Hugs to you.

  5. Carrie

    Hi Rachel! I love you and your daughter and although I know how hard this is, she is going to do great! I understand how you feel as I think it is hard to not have that closure of finishing out the curriculum the way you wanted and such, but you have done such a great job with her. 🙂 Be proud of where she is headed and lots of hugs and love to you. It is raw and tender, but it will get better, I know. I miss you and love you all.

  6. Lauren

    ** hugs** I know the feeling our 2nd decided to go back to public school and go live with her bio mom. It hurts but she was able to blossom socially and have many new experiences. Its not good, not bad just different.


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