Our Lives

IMG_6129When I got home from the gym yesterday morning it was still dark. (Yes, I said gym. No, it’s not a resolution.) I shut the door to the bedroom where Wigeon was snuggled in bed with Mr. Mallard, and started puttering about my day. After fifteen minutes or so, the door to the bedroom popped open and Wigeon came out to greet me. She was still tired and wanted mommy, but I needed a shower. I put her back in bed with my husband, which she protested, but I promised to give her “holdy-hugs” after I showered. Once clean, I got fully dressed and slipped back into bed beside her. She said something cheery, put her hands around my neck and fell back asleep.

I stayed in bed next to her for an hour thinking. Well, dozing and thinking. It’s rare for me to climb back into bed in the morning. More than rare. There is always something that needs to be done and if I’m up I want to get going, but lying in bed next to my almost four-year-old was wonderful. It was precisely what I wanted to be doing with my time. And to make things even better, it gave me a chance to talk to my husband over the sleeping form of our littlest.

I have been thinking about time. (Again.) Recently, I read Ben Hewitt’s blog. The whole thing. It’s been thought provoking and it’s made me think about money a bit. I have some differing views than he does, but one thing I do like that Ben writes frequently is that time is not money; it’s life. I like thinking about time that way, not that I make money during my days as a stay-at-home mom, but there is something powerful in acknowledging that how we spend our time is how we spend our lives. But here’s something new for me: I listened to a podcast of an interview with a life-coach who said she recommends that clients identify a feeling that they would like to have in their lives (contentment, peace, grattitude, etc.,) identify an activity that gives them that feeling and do it at least once a week. I think that’s why I felt so good about climbing back into bed with my not-so-little baby yesterday. Not only was it how I wanted to spend my time that morning, it gave me some of the feelings I want in my life: contentment and love.

I’m hoping to ask myself this more often: Does the way you spend your time align itself with the feelings you’d like to experience?

9 thoughts on “Our Lives

  1. motheringwithmindfulness

    This is a lovely post, and something I have been thinking about for a while. In fact, this year instead of choosing to set intentions/resolutions, whatever you want to call them, and instead of picking a word to guide me for the year, I chose feelings. Feelings that I want to feel this year, and the idea is that I will choose to do things in my life that bring about those feelings. So far I am enjoying the different perspective, and I have been making sure to say yes to the things that make me feel that way I want to feel, and no to the other things 🙂

    1. Mrs. Mallard Post author

      Kim, I just remembered reading that on your blog, so I went back now and read the post! I heard the same thing on a podcast from The Waldorf Connection – I believe it was life-coach Jen Louden. Funny how that thought has come into my life twice recently. I must have needed it.

  2. Jean

    Such a sweet post! I love the little story of climbing back into bed and being OK with that. I have a post-it note on the inside of my closet from years ago that reads “Follow your feelings. It just might be God (could read ‘the divine’) talking to you.” I have been listening to guided meditations each morning so that I can remember that being calm and relaxed feels good!!!

    1. Mrs. Mallard Post author

      What a great reminder to have on a post-it note Jean! My belief is that God does talk to us through inspiration. I have never once regretted acting on a little prompting I have received, and I think the more we accept and act on those promptings the more we will get to help bless our lives and the lives of others.

  3. licoricelovinglady

    I love this post! If I could give you an award for it I would!

    One of the best parenting books I read was a book called “What Mothers Do” by Naomi Stadlen and your post reminded me of that. It’s about the true meaning of mothering and learning to value that and not feeling bad about not getting things done. I think that connecting to how we want to feel helps us connect to being rather than doing. We’re so caught up in doing that being feels like it no longer has value. It feels wasteful. Yet being is where the meaning of life lies (in my humble opinion 🙂 ) Thank you for this. Cathy

    1. Mrs. Mallard Post author

      Cathy, You are too kind! I will have to check out the book “What Mothers Do.” I haven’t ever heard of it. I appreciate your comments so much. You are always very thoughtful in your responses.

      1. licoricelovinglady

        The book is focused on the baby stage and is in the format of discussions in a mother’s group about the experiences of parenting very young children. I remember feeling validated for the very first time when I read it – at which point I had already been parenting over 2 years. I think it would make a wonderful gift for a first-time parent. Nothing can ever prepare you for the dramatic change parenting will be, but this book made me feel less alone, and more competent, which is interesting because it’s not an advice-giving how-to book at all. I wish the author would do a book on homeschooling! Cathy

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